The Trap of New Beginnings

You might have noticed that this blog thrives on overthinking. That is not necessarily a bad thing, friends! Overthinking produces a whole lot of crap, and then sometimes a bit of share-worthy content, too – and today’s article is a solid mix of both.

Chances are that if we met in person in the past few months, we talked about this (so you’re basically a co-author of these lines). New beginnings. It’s a big topic for all of us, often relating to life-changing events: new jobs, schools, homes, relationships. However, what caught my attention was how do we use new beginnings to structure our lives.

It feels like when “starting again”, you’re putting a label on the previous chapter. As if you sealed a jam jar and then put a sticker saying Apricots 2016 on it. No compromises: a fresh beginning asks for a new page. And every fuck up deserves a fresh beginning… right?

Problem is that as human beings, we screw up every day (well, at least I do). If we draw a thick line behind every heap of mess and continue straight onto next page, we end up with the “New Me” versions of ourselves waiting around every corner. New Year, new month, new week, every single morning. Now I don’t know about you, but I ended up with so many old Kristynas breathing behind my back that I don’t even dare to turn around.

And when I do, I see the finished chapters, but they somehow lack a frame. In the past years, I took a lot of pride in ditching the old versions of myself. Instead of following up, I kept constantly redefining who I was, page after page.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I can be doing great while owning the mistakes from the past. Being happy doesn’t mean deleting everything that ever went wrong.

I learned that continuity is, for me, much more valuable than a shelf full of jam jars.

So that’s a new chapter for me, I guess.

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